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arguing with a fire pilot is a lot like wrestling with a pig in the mud:  after a while you begin to think the pig likes it.

ALL HOPE Abandon, YE WHO ENTER HERE!

Hand over the bootyThis be the stories page.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

For starters, here's the classic Smokey Val story.

And the latest addition to the collection, a real keeper:  A Horse Tale.

Here's a dandy story from Mark Clifton on WHY YOU GUYS HAVE A JOB.

And then for musical entertainment we've got Eric's version of SIX DAYS ON THE ROAD. And here's one from a rotorboy:

The Push Start story:

Background:  The U.S. Army in their infinite wisdom installed keys in their helicopters to prevent theft. This was done after a crew chief got all liquored up and decided he could fly like the pilots he worked with and the end was as expected, disastrous and fatal. But all the key does is deactivate the starting circuit -- and nothing more. (Who more than the crew chief would know which two wires to rip out and twist together to get around that?) Additionally, the Aux Power Plant (APP) is hydraulically started with the push of a single button after the battery is turned on.

Story:  A friend of mine that I worked with in Australia was on an exchange program with the U.S. Army when he was an Australian Forces Blackhawk pilot. When he started flying the American Blackhawks he was on a mission to move a group of Special Forces types. Upon landing to pick them up, he decided to play a little joke on them. When the troops arrived at the helicopter, the pilots told them that the battery was dead -- and to demonstrate this fact, they wiggled the key back and forth to no avail. They told the guys that they had to push-start the helicopter. So they all jump out and start to push the helicopter across the ground. The pilot then taps the brakes to simulate popping a clutch and hits the APP start button and the "P" roars to life. The guys all shout, "OOOOOHRAH! We just push-started a Blackhawk!" and they all jumped back inside.


If you got firepirate stories, be sendin' 'em in to the webwench. She and the PIC will be lookin' 'em over, and if they be of any kinda quality, we'll be runnin' 'em here.

And you know the rules.